Four Types of Facebook Creeps

I’ve been on facebook a while now. I haven’t really done much on it other than accept the occasional friend request and comment on pictures of me, but I’ve noticed stuff. People. Decided to list a few types.

• The males that have a roundabout way of showing interest – I have a friend. She posted a few pictures recently. I went over to look at them, and while flipping through each picture I notice something strange. Along with the text like “2 comments” and  “In this picture:”, there is the ever present “x likes this picture, along with the thumbs up icon. On every. Single. Picture. I keep going and come across a few comments by the same person. “oh wow ur smile. it is so beautiful”. Way to go there casanova, freak her out by going on to click “Like” on every single one of her pictures and flooding her with notifications. Why don’t you just write “I love you” on her wall?
• The Drama Queen – Any gender can be this. The most recent example I came across was a male. A note is posted. With a bad joke. Snarky comments are made by me. Owner denies thinking up note(he didn’t). More snarkyness. And bam! I’m barred from seeing the note. Not even a “plez how do I make snarky comments lyk that to peepal” message. I’m offended. All I get is a reply to not comment or read if I don’t like it. I mean, I was in a state to write “I h8 uu!!!11″ on his wall! Hmph.
• Stalkers – Usually male. These teenagers, sometimes even grown men, will browse through facebook looking for people to add to their friends lists. No surprise that they’re usually female. They see some girl, say to each other “Isn’t she the sister of that girl who talks to the girl who sits at the back of the class in the class next to ours while she waits to be picked up after class?” and agree unanimously. Otherwise it’s “Isn’t that that dude’s girlfriend’s sister’s friend’s sister?”. Eventually half the population is on their friend lists.
• Me – I have a peculiar predicament. I used to get on only to confirms friend requests from people I knew. Which created a general impression of me not really being around fb much, the only activity generated being from my blog posts being sent as notes. Now I have a problem. I have this feeling that I should keep this image of me not being on it much intact, but it leaves me helpless when I actually want to add people to my friends list. If I send request around willy-nilly my image of being ‘too cool for facebook’, or ‘too uncool for more than 100 friends’ rather, is shattered. So I wait patiently till they eventually add me.

Why don’t females suddenly flood my inbox with “i really lyk your hair, can i touch it”? Why don’t females start writing poetry to random males? Why do people put LOL at the end of every damn comment, even when it’s not remotely funny? Why must my brain die a little each time I go on there and see what people say? Why are the comments sections turning into youtube comment sections?

I don’t know. I’m off to go change my profile pic and look at pictures of strange exotic girls.

I hear they want to “friend me”.