People’s minds are usually on their side. Usually. Then there are times when they go blank at exam time or recite your secret fetish for networking cable for all and sundry to hear while you sleep.
This morning, in my sleep, I was happily marking down everyone’s birthdays on my calendar when I was rudely woken up by my phone alarm. Wait, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t mark down other people’s birthdays in anybody’s dreams.
So yeah, I was happily contemplating the meaning of life and why we choose to stay alive with Enya playing in the background when I was woken up by my alarm. Rudely. So I sleepily drag the phone over to me and try to look at the screen. Just as I’m about to press “Snooze” and try to wake up, I see another option on the screen.
“Feeling sleepy?” it queried. I clicked it. It switched to another screen and told me in impossibly tiny text which I don’t know how I could have been fooled into thinking I was reading, that “Rapid sentence reading can cause brain functions to laugh and wake up”. I was sold!
So I’m shown a few screens of well, text. I can’t really recall what was in it, but the gist of it was uh… text.
Then a few minutes into this, I am woken up again and find my phone lying next to my head. I was not amused. The alarm! It had the gall to tamper with the alarm, putting me back to sleep. The little sort of beautiful, not quite insane git. I have decided to punish it by imagining what would go through the mind of someone with a network cable fetish.
Edit: Somehow I forgot to mention the crucial bit about me being asleep while all this happened. Updated :S