Archive for the 'music' Category

09
Jul
10

The Musician In Me

So I was watching some football world cup highlights on Youtube. I don’t see what the big deal is. FIFA 2001 for PC was more entertaining than this. At least that game let you run from one end of the pitch to the other without being surrounded by a dozen dudes looking like they’re Square-dancing class rejects.

That browser window died young.

What did catch my attention was the Vuvuzelas. The long trumpet-like instrument brandished by half the audience at the matches. It was a simple instrument. It was an annoying instrument. It was the perfect instrument for me. Nothing more than the ability to force air out of your lung is required.

Finally, I could steal some of the attention away from those tools that just pull a few strings on a guitar and have women swarm around them like cats to curiosity. And like cats to curiosity they die a terrible death after catching a bout of terminal cracked-the-guitar-in-two-and-killed-themselves-with-it from having to listen to the same three strings over and over again.

Till now, all I could do was play the air guitar. I was pretty good at it too. I even ordered a vintage model off eBay a few months ago. Alas, the appeal of this was lost on most people. It was as if there was some kind of force-field around me. People would ricochet off it the moment I started. I was crestfallen.

I don’t see why people have to throng around someone who can play a guitar. It seems illogical. I quote,

The second best way to get into someone’s pants is to play guitar.

What is the first, I hear you wail? Probably chloroform, I’d wager, but that is for another, password-protected blogpost. Baffling I tell you. John Mayer’s entire career rides on it. Douchbags have had their life turned around by it. Women get delirious over it. Bah, women get delirious over cooking.

Anyway,

Anybody know a friend of a friend who can hook me up with one of those? A vuvuzela, not a John Mayer.

03
Jul
09

Three Songs

Sachintha tagged me to write up a list of three songs that make my blood boil.

I have no idea.

But I will post a list of songs that… I dislike. Just to avoid the wrath of a Sach with a spurned tag, which is not unlike a woman spurned. Except for a few minor differences. Like how a woman spurned actually has an effect on the spurrer.

:D

Anyway,

  1. Beautiful Girls – Sean Kingston – Man I can’t stand this dude. And this is by far one if his most annoying tracks. Most current rappers suck ass anyway, but this dude is the only one whose name I can recall at the moment. This song is a prime example of Dumbass Rapper Syndrome. It has all the hallmarks of a crappy song. Ergo, “Your way too beautiful girl | That’s why it’ll never work | You had me suicidal, suicidal | When you say it’s over” – Stupid logic and “It was back in ’99 (ninty-nine) | Watchin’ movies all the time | Oh when I went away |  For doin’ my first crime” – Reference to crime etc. etc.  Also, watching movies all the time? What, was he arrested for trying to sneak into an adult movie when he was 10 or something? No wonder this guy can never get a girl, if he writes lyrics like that. I mean, really, what kind of dude is so insecure as to worry about a girl being too beautiful? God man, grow some balls. The grammar on most lyrics sites is also pretty crappy.
  2. Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
    Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock
    Super Man Dat Hoe
    Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop
    Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock
    Jocking On Them Haterz Man
    When I Do Dat Soulja Boy
    I Lean To The Left And Crank Dat Dance
    (Now You)
    I’m Jocking On Yo xxxxx Ass
    And If We Get The Fightin
    Then I’m Cocking On Your Bitch
    You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
    Yes I Crank It Everyday
    Haterz Get Mad Cuz
    “I Got Me Some Bathin Apes”

    WTF? Garden tools and super heroes? “Jocking on them haterz”? Is that like throwing used jock straps at people? As for haterz, he’d better pile up on stuff to throw at them. I’m sure a few billion people out there would want this guy to crawl into bed with malaria.
  3. And finally, a song after my own heart actually. Beyonce’s If I were a boy. Clear evidence that females are, indeed, the inferior beings we have to share this planet with. It’s quite clear she has quite a good grasp of how things are. All females should follow her example and concede that men can do whatever the hell they want, and are the “awesome of the species”. Never mind that the band in the background sounds like they could have made a better noise if they’d been repeatedly run over by a truck for the duration of the track, the lyrics are a shining example of male superiority. We salute Beyonce. Congratulations on setting back feminism by a few decades at least.
12
Jun
09

I’ll listen to whatever the hell I want

Music. People quickly judging you by the music you listen to. People listening to certain types of music to look ‘cool’. Stupid.

A lot of people treat musical genres like it was embedded in their DNA. In the ‘coolness’ strand. They listen to what they perceive as ‘cool’ music, usually some obscure band with obscure sounding instruments. That’s alright, you can listen to whatever you want. But why in the world would you look down on someone listening to other types? I’m sure you’re all gangsta and that only rap can soothe your senses. Smack yo bitch up eh? MP5 be praised!

But it’s just music. Nobody gives a damn. It’s pointless parroting around your music tastes to anybody who will listen. You aren’t cool because you listen to music that’s not mainstream either. Most music doesn’t go mainstream because it’s so crappy nobody wants to listen. Then it’s peddled to all the schmucks looking for ‘underground’ music. Old music is not necessarily better than new music. Ohhhh music changed your life eh? Well guess what? Hannah Montana does that to 12 year olds too I bet.

If you listen to the words, then keep it to yourself for cryin’ out loud. It’s worse than those uppity armchair movie critics looking down their bent noses at people who don’t see the ‘true meaning’ in movie scenes. A beat is a beat. Music is music. Different people like different types.

Coolness is relative. In order, you get

  1. Obscure Band
  2. Major Band
  3. Small-timers
  4. Guitarists
  5. People who listen to ‘cultured’ music
  6. Inanimate objects
  7. Miley Cyrus
  8. Toothpicks

99. Pianists

That is, according to popular ‘coolness’ ratings canvassed from urban youth from different genres.

I’ll listen to whatever the hell I want.

03
Feb
09

The Ex-Political Post

So I wrote up a ‘political’-ish post. It wasn’t very interesting. So off it went to the great heavenly “Drafts” bin. It had all that stuf about independence day and associated hazards like gigantic alien spaceships, stuff happening in the north and if we’ll eventually have a reenactment of Tiananmen Square in Fort. Hypnotize springs to mind. And those awe inspiring images of the student standing in the way of the tank. We’ll never have that. The students will be _driving_ the tanks here. With all the minorities and dissenters being crushed in their tracks. Dammit. This one’s turning politikal too.

Anyway, Music is weird. I go from

“I don’t need this s**t
You stupid sadistic abusive f***ing w***e
would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die!”

to

“I’m walking on sunshine wooah
I’m walking on sunshine wooah
I’m walking on sunshine wooah”

In just a flick of a switch. Mood changing, from wishing to break everything in sight to beaming joy. Don’t judge me. If you don’t like ‘Walking on Sunshine’ you have no soul, and the devil will gnaw at the toes of your poor, lifeless existence till finally you trip on a protruding root, fall off the rooftop garden of a 100 story building and find yourself in hell. With your mother posing for pictures at the entrance like a sadistic playboy bunny.

Hmm… Hot girl walked in. I’m off…
:P

13
Jan
09

How do you people keep coming up with names for posts?!

My earphones stopped working right yesterday. I was walking along the street and suddenly Chris Cornell is drifting to the right. Speaking of streets, colombo gets pretty deserted after 7pm. You can waltz along, singing out of tune and nobody will notice. I hope.
But what struck me as I came to work this morning is the sheer variety and splendour of just plain noise. The noise that surrounds me on my usual trip is usually kept away from my ears by some rubber in-ear buds. But today I was treated to the full effect of birds singing and the symphony that is a thousand vehicles each chiming in at random intervals to somehow, miraculously form a melody. Even the trees were vehement in the voicing of their interpretation of the wind.
But I missed most of it cos I was sleepy as hell.

Nobody cares about that stuff anyway, other than tree huggers and hippies.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot lately about ‘being different’. Now, I’m cool with anyone doing what they want to do, but it just bugs me when people try to act all retarded for the sake of it. Or worse, just to get attention. ‘Oh I licked that tree cos you KNOW I’m craaazy’. Different is sometimes good, but you have to understand that different can also mean like black guy at a KKK meeting. Just don’t be an idiot.

***Now Playing:
Crysis Warhead is funner than the first one. The first one suxxored.

14
Nov
08

So I was looking for an album…

A Life of Saturdays, to be exact. And I wind up with nothing.

Something’s wrong with the interwebs I tell you. “Leaving Town” is still occasionally sprinkled across the radio waves, yet his album does not grace the pages of the almighty ISOhunt.

Granted, This isn’t exactly legal, but still. One of the sites listed the album as having been seeded “So long ago”.

Meh…

03
Nov
08

Mamma Mia, and Music

I am writing a post about the movie “Mamma Mia”.

I watched it. yes.

Anyway, I liked it too. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m as much a jackass as any guy out there, and would never own up to liking this movie in person. But well, since I probably won’t see anyone who reads this for some time, or at least till you forget, s’okay.

Now, my experience with musicals is limited to just three movies. This, Hairspray and Phantom of the Opera. Nevertheless, I shall give you an in-depth and thorough review of this movie. :P

The story’s pretty straightforward, just run of the mill stuff. And in the end we don’t even know who the father is either. Oh yeah, there might be spoilers in here. But it was a fun movie. Just that saying it out loud could get you beaten up in public. I dunno, is it a chick movie? It sure has all the ingredients…
Shallow story, Fairytale-ish occurrences sprinkled about and lots of “Girl Power”. Which reminds me, Why can’t we have “Man Power”? :D Another post or another day I guess.

And now onto the PS’s -
Ever noticed how the music you listen to sets your mood? I put on some Tool on my way home, and felt like staring down everyone in sight. Then I switch to Sarah Brightman, and I’m all “…” and “peace, brother”. :/

And does anyone know what the starting lyrics of “Hymn to Her” by the Pretenders mean?

“Ive been your lover
From the womb to the tomb
I dress as your daughter
When the moon becomes round
You be my mother
When everything’s gone”

Just sounds like some serious incest going on in there, like a redneck family reunion…

24
Sep
08

Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Suicide Bombers…

Don’t let em play with bombs and hidin in trucks,
Make em be Doctors and Lawyers and such

Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Suicide Bombers…

They’ll never stay home and they’re always alone,
Even with someone they love

A bomber ain easy to love, an he’s harder to hold,
He’d rather give you an arm than diamonds or gold
One-pull bomb triggers and old faded devices,
And each night begins a new fire
If you don’t understand him
An he don’t die young,
He’ll prob’ly just blow himself up

That’s as far as I got. Can’t make out the rest of this song too accurately… Maybe later when I take a look at the lyrics.

16
May
08

Ten things vs. Regular Post

Funny thing is, I already typed up another post thinking this was the same “Seven random things about you” chain which I dead ended last year, with three extra things. I just found out that it’s “Ten things that make me feel happy”.

Anyway,

1) Technology -
Although the past week has been a black one for most stuff around me. First my phone memory card goes bust, and then the one I buy to replace it turns out to be slightly incompatible, so I have to wait another week till they get a different brand down. Then I break the glass turntable in the microwave. Then my monitor stops working, so I’m stuck with a crummy 15-inch. Thoughts of sabotage entered my mind when the bus I was traveling in broke down in the middle of the road today.

2) Music -
I just ripped “The Flying Carpet”. No, it’s not the Aladdin soundtrack. Nice, relaxing music. Although I do push in the occasional Alter Bridge. Something unpleasant happened this last week in music. I copied off all the new music on my brother’s mp3 player like I usually do, and was assailed by the likes of S Club 7 and NSync. Apparently, he had autofilled it with random tracks from his office.

3) Weird stuff, like have you ever noticed that you can’t lick your elbows?

4) Laughing -
Most recently, at the audience on the Tyra Show. Those people have been dragged over from a telemarketing show methinks. And considering that everyone who appears on the Tyra Show is either terribly maimed or nutty as a fruitcake, or both if you count Tyra, they appear to be what is scientifically called “Tasteless Bovines”

5) Messed up situations -
I was about 8 years old. And I was at a funeral. We were all gathered round the grave, some fifty-odd people. My cousin(6) and I were way at the back. Suddenly, he grabs my sleeve and points. I turn to see a skull, dug up by some dog and just showing out of the ground. We both start shouting “A skull! A skull!” not in panic, but out of sheer excitement. You can imagine what sort of reaction this caused in the adults. Each of them spun round and stared at us as if we had just murdered the poor guy. Two kids shouting out in joy about a dead guy’s bones is not something you particularly like to hear if your husband’s just passed away. Needless to say, our parents came and dragged us away, apologizing profusely for our “misconduct”.

6) Reading stuff -
But I already mentioned this in the earlier post.

7) Taking pictures of stuff -
I’m not sure if I’m qualified to call myself an “Amateur Photographer”. I used to make money off it when I was in the school club, but now it’s just regular random pictures of whatever is interesting. But by far the worst part is when relatives ask you to take pictures of various social events. Sometimes, that would be fine, but not when there’s another professional guy there, jumping about like spider-man. Photographers are very much like lions. Not in that we pee on rocks, but that we’re very territorial. If I walk into another guys turf, he will take me down, either by making my pictures look bad or resorting to the deadliest attack – laughing at my camera. Between his evil looks and the comments of relatives to the tune of “*giggle“, “Ohh look who’s taking pictures“, and “Make sure you focus right this time” you sort of lose interest in your hobby.

8) Sarcasm -
“Someone who tries to peddle sarcasm as a higher form of wit”. That’s me. Probably because it’s easier.

9) Strangely, Making stuff -
As in virtual things. Mostly in Cinema 4D and Photoshop. It’s just fun when the bean man you made learns how to walk right. Or when you have the power to sadistically twist the limbs of your creation, and put it back the way it was again. Although it’s no fun having to wait a few minutes for renders to complete…

10) Life -
The fact that we, and not fire breathing rabbits, were chosen to rule this earth, is great!
Although I must admit a different type of scourge, in the form of the fire-breathing feminist, is threatening civilization today. hehehe… Don’t flame me, please(No pun intended). Just got too many e-mails with “How great is a woman” etc. in the subject line.

Like last time, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been tagged already. Woe is me. I doubt this chain is goig to end because of me, so ciao for now!

10
Oct
07

GaNgStA sTyLe !!!!! and more !!!!!’s

I noticed that I didn’t have any posts for October, And I need more posts, and hence more pages to place advertisements for you to click. So, Being the shallow and materialistic person I am, Here’s the next post!

We all listen to music. We all love it, We all blindly follow what the lyricist says. Okay, Maybe not that last bit. But take a rap artist for example. Say 50 Cent or any of the other aspiring “Rapper/Gangstah!” combo’s out there. Along with them, you find a flock of ardent followers who will dress like 50, walk like 50 and even think like 50. Yo! You gettin’ my vibe fool?

Dear God, Why? What’s with dropping your pants and wearing t-shirts two sizes too big? It’s not just the dress. They have to talk like that too. “soz howz life dawg” Yup, they can actually use a simple letter at the beginning of a sentence when TALKING. All that’s just about bearable, but what drives me up the wall(Not literally, okay?… ;) ) is that these guys use this type of thing when typing too. Come on, You’ve got a whole QWERTY keyboard in front of you, try using all the keys. And just bueacse msot poelpe can raed txet lkie tihs, Doesn’t mean you can type like that, dawwg. I see some profiles on various social networking sites(No, I don’t use them, I was doing some…research) and I see stuff like

“dis doods tha kewlest guy ppl!!!! rock on nigga!!!!”

And

“yo dawg, wassup………….. jus lookin at ur profile an man!!!!!! kewl dood!!!!!”

And sometimes

“yo fool, heard u gots a hair transplant…. gd 4 u dawg! v cn hook up wit da chiks now!!!!!!! don worry i won tell ne1!!!!!!!!!”

And many more exclamations in the comment boxes. How hard is it to spell properly and actually use the “Shift” key? First time with a keyboard? Probably the last because going by the typing, I doubt it’ll get you anywhere near a job with a PC involved. Probably be bagging groceries, Or polishing my shoes. And it’s not just the “Rappers” who do this. Even the “Extra Weighty Metal” fan’s too. With their black clothes and “Rap SUXXX” t-shirts, they parade around the streets saying stuff like “None of it Matters man, We all die in the end anyway”, And other such philosophical gems of thought. Most of them are like vampires and are afraid of sunlight, the bible and music other than heavy metal, Because the rest isn’t “Real” music.

Wake up suckers, It’s all just the hormones and stupidity talking. Get into rehab.

P.S. – Yes, I do listen to rap music sometimes, Even right now, WinAmp is playing Stronger by Kanye West (Great song). And even rock. Linkin Park happens to be my favourite band, and one of my current quick access play lists is Phobia by Breaking Benjamin. But I don’t walk around dragging my feet and claiming I’m a “niggah”. Nope, I just sit in a corner of the shower and cut myself to see if I can get high… What? ;-)





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