Archive for September, 2007

25
Sep
07

The Future? I doubt it.

I was in class yesterday and just started wandering what it would be like if I was living in the future. Here’s what I thought.

I’d be woken up in the morning by my “Time-Specific Alert device” or Alarm clock, With “In the Morning” by Razorlight blasted in my ear. Being lazy in the morning like most people, I switch it to snooze, and after a couple of minutes I get some sort of water substitute sprayed in my face to wake me, courtesy of the clock’s “Aqueous” setting, set by my mother.

Trudge over to the sink and pour some tooth cleaning solution into my mouth, gargle and spit it, And am surprised to find that the bathroom door can’t be opened because the nanobots in the solution thought the old pizza stuck between my teeth contained the plague, and hence quarantined me.

After overcoming the paranoid bots, I try my luck at shaving with my newly acquired Gillette Mach64 razor, which contains a 64-Bit processor to help me get rid of all those unwanted facial hairs. It just ends up nearly scalping me. And it says “You are not hairless yet”. Well, back to the good ‘ol Mach 3 then…

Eventually, I pick up my school laptop and go stand by the road and wait for the bus. My watch tells me the next one will be there in 12 minutes. So I decide to listen to some music on my 4G Zune (Not iPod 😉 ), Only to be told that my mother’s set a restriction on it so I can’t listen right before going to school. So I wait it out. Bus comes, and the RFID tag in my watch tells the bus to charge my account. Takes about 15 minutes to get to school, And I get off. No more getting on and off the bus before it stops these days 😦 . I walk along the street, Kicking away the countless iPod’s littering the streets, discarded by people who had seen the light(Heh heh). A cleaning drone with a Sony logo on it was cleaning the mess up.

On my way I pass a Metrocop with a big Apple logo plastered over the back of his head. He smiled at me and said, “Do you require any assistance in…[Short Pause]… Walking, Sir?”. I reply in the negatory and he waves me off with “Hail Steve Jobs”.(Why am I still thinking of apple?)

I get to school and someone goes “Thamuseta deepu gaana haduwada oi?!”(or, Did you make the sum I gave you?!)

At which point I wake up, Curse under my breath and go back to living in the past. Present, I mean.

P.S. – My new sig. Don’t know where I can use it yet, though.

Advertisements
07
Sep
07

My Teacher! No, It’s not an "I love my teacher" post.

The mathematics teacher, to be precise. Why do I mention this Homo Sapien ? Well, Because he has had a huge effect on our lives, Mostly bad.

First off, He could very well be the first Teacher/Politician combo. No, really. We imagine he was one of those dudes who ran around in a bandanna waving a rifle and shouting slogans back in the 80’s. It’s quite evident that the fire in him, so to speak, has not yet burned out completely, as even in class, he says things like “Is making a sum even close to as hard as lifting a sack of grain”? In Singhalese, of course. He has to keep with tradition, even though it’s the “English medium” class. Perfect logic, If you don’t understand, congratulations.

Second, he sounds like he’s trying to speak through his nose. Okay, that isn’t so bad, but it adds to the effect. Says “Gnak” a lot. But the best part is, He’s totally anti-capitalist. He sees a guy chewing gum, and says “You fellows will eat any dirt those foreign buggers make”. Or even better, “Who ever benefited from learning to work with computers?”. Yes. He said that. Maybe he thinks Mao was the richest man in the world. Can you blame him? He probably lives with poultry in his bedroom, And goes hunting for wild boar around Maharagama. “It’s just a machine which shows pictures when you press buttons”. I can hear you all screaming HOW IN THE WORLD DID THIS GUY BECOME A MATHEMATICS TEACHER IF HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT COMPUTERS DO?

Point is, he’s a weird character. And I now realize I have nothing left to write. And that I probably just wrote this because the blog was looking awfully starved of recent posts. Yeah. Hey, Don’t read this post.