31
Mar
09

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Happy

I have made a groundbreaking discovery. Well not literally breaking the ground, but it’ll at least shake the ground a bit from all the people stomping their feet on it out of indignation. Indignation at what, you ask? I shall tell you, right after these announcements –

I have chucked the hutch. Picked up an Airtel to replace it as my trusty secondary SIM. So yeah, everyone who took me down a notch from ‘Awesome’ to ‘Bloody Brilliant’ can just raise me back up in their opinion of me. Thank you.

My shoulder hurts for some reason. Like I’ve been driving it into a concrete pillar repeatedly. Before you ask, no I haven’t been practicing my tackling with my brother. Nothing as exciting as that I’m afraid, just been sleeping on it too rough, I guess. Yeah, I sleep hard. I sleep a real man’s sleep, with four pillows. Thought I’d rough it today and lost one. Guess I was just being too reckless.

Yes, back to the groundbreaking discovery. But er… I… Well it seems to have slipped my mind. Will remember soon, so till then,

The only reason two random people meet, start dating etc. is because of phone companies. Not because they allow the two to stay in touch, but because the phone companies themselves engineer the relationship. I suspect that these ‘Call center workers’ are really just office drones who go through secret profiles of many thousands of people a day, finding matches. I mean, how many of us has used one of these ‘call centers’? Once they find two that match reasonably well, they make arrangements. Arrangements for the two to meet. Somehow. Either through mutual friends who are actually undercover agents, online or through some other fluke, they meet. Then the companies proceed to bombard the two with targeted advertising. You see, getting those two to switch to their network is like bagging a small business’s business. My talk time, till recently, after many months of usage, was a mere 25-odd hours on the current phone. Then in just under two months, it jumps to nearly 150 hours, and I’m suddenly giving consideration to battery endurance on phones. But see, you have to get _just_ the right match, or you don’t talk much at all, as evidenced by my earlier raggedy-man time of just over a day’s worth. That would explain the many thousands of texts stacked up.

Oh yes, the discovery.

Yeah uh…

There is no discovery and you’re all [insert insult of choice] for reading this far.

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11 Responses to “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Happy”


  1. 1 TheWhacksteR
    March 31, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    You mean im a genius. And IMHO its the best ones that have the least talk time.

  2. 2 Jerry
    March 31, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    When did they reduce the IQ requirement for being a genius down to double digits?

    πŸ˜›

  3. 4 DeeCee
    March 31, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    OOOOOOOOOooooOOOO who’s the laiiideee??

  4. 5 Jerry
    March 31, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    @DC
    Shhhh.

    @Whack
    Haha, let’s see what the laiideee says about that πŸ˜€

  5. 6 TheWhacksteR
    March 31, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    does one consult the fox on the appropriate angle of the cheese fall? and let me know if im stepping any toes here cos im just jesting and dont want no dramarr :p

  6. 7 Jerry
    March 31, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Baha, I’m the last one to take anything appearing on these pages at face value.

    It took much convincing for me to start believing the beach thing was for real.

    O.o

    πŸ˜€

  7. 8 TheWhacksteR
    March 31, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    now there was a time when a comment such as mine would have provoked a biting response. but now ur just trying to give me a love bite.. you teddy bear!

  8. 9 gutterflower
    April 1, 2009 at 12:51 am

    Awww. Cute.
    The boy’s been bitten by the bug.

    *pinches Jerry’s cheeks*

    I await the corny poetry and cryptic posts.

    πŸ˜›

  9. 10 Jerry
    April 3, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    @whack
    I just spared you cos I was hungry.
    Next time.

    @gf
    NEVARRRR!!!

  10. September 26, 2011 at 6:28 am

    AWWWWWW! πŸ˜€

    Also, four pillows? I wish I had four pillows now. 😦


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