30
Jul
09

New Morality

Please note that sign ups are on for anyone wishing to join the Morality Police. The leadership has realized that to get people to act morally and ‘properly’, mere banning of despicable western pollutants such as pornography and mobile phones is not enough. Parents cannot be given the great burden of bringing up children who are not sexually frustrated, rapist-in-waiting social deviants, and as such it is up to the state to impose rules and regulations. Further, romance is to be outlawed, as it is immoral and against our culture to fall in love. Anything that is found to be aiding and abetting such frivolous activities such as late night phone calls are to be banned. Mobile packages aimed at couples fall into such a category. So do park benches and secluded places. The leadership also hopes to make telephone networks only work during office hours, as mobile usage after these productive hours has been found to be, in certain cases, for communication between a male and a female who do not have any shared business interest and are not related. There will also be random surveillance on phone lines to catch out any same sex ‘relationships’. There are also plans to introduce new laws through which all interactions between a male and a female will be overseen by the newly instituted Morality Police.

In more great news, the leadership is happy to announce the inclusion of the newest member into it’s ranks of Prudish Soccer Moms, Mrs. Primitive Thinking. She was ushered in by senior members Mrs. Knee-Jerk Reactions and Miss. Utter Stupidity. The new membership has been approved by the board of WAAD(We Are All Doomed).

The newly appointed Secretary for Suicide Prevention is also doing well. After only a slight setback when he tried to ban suicide, and learned it was illegal, he has again set himself on the right path by visiting select “Likely Suicide Case” schools and delivering fantastic speeches. An excerpt is below.

…this suicide is nothing new. You all might think it is the “in” thing to do and all, all the cool kids are doing it and everything, but no. Suicide has been around for a long time. Sure you might want to try it out maybe, see what it’s like. Go home and tell your parents to vote for me and I will let you experience all the suicide you want! It is every students right to experience school life to the fullest! I will not rest…

As for those dissenters who claim we do not have the authority or the right to make these decisions for you, it is for your own good. It is for your child’s own good. If you have any questions, please write to us, or alternately, write a letter, mail it to yourself and then shred it up when you receive it. Both accomplish more or less the same thing. At least the second way you will receive something.

Thank you for bearing with us in these troubled, immorality rife times and we sincerely hope you have a pleasant ride with us back into 15th century England.

P.S. – Laws have been drafted for prevention of ‘self inflicted immorality’, rudely known as wanking. It has been found that removal of certain organs is the only path to salvation.

Sub Post : Refreshing.

Why do people keep hitting refresh on their desktops? I saw this twice recently. Both were people who work with computers and should know better. First was at an internet cafe near where I work. Needed a printout and the printer was out of ink so I headed there. The CD I gave him with the files was taking a while to read so he went back to his desktop and kept right click>refreshing. As if the CD would magically improve by way of him doing that. It’s refresh, not ‘fix all your problems’. Then again when I went to get my CV printed, the woman at the PC kept doing it while my thumbdrive was being scanned for viruses. To speed it up maybe. People who use it probably go to their computers and keep refreshing when stuff like domestic problems crop up. Wife: “I want a divorce! waah!”. Hubby: *Goes and refreshes his desktop*. Microsoft Windows has an ace hidden up it’s virtual sleeve folks. Not to be outdone by other OS’s offering mere security, they have gone the whole hog and added a fix-anything feature. Viruses? Refresh! Fire in the building? Refresh! Trolls in the house? Refresh! Refresh refresh refresh!

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10 Responses to “New Morality”


  1. July 30, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    I’ve always wondered about this refreshing business. I mean WTF? You’re just refreshing the DESKTOP when you click ‘refresh’. It doesn’t do anything else!

  2. July 30, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Where did my comment go? :S

  3. July 30, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Moderating again?!?!?
    Practise what you preach, douche. :p

  4. 5 chathuraw
    July 30, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Hahaha… WAAD!!!!!!!!!! 😀

    On the sub-post – I’ve seen several people do that as well. I have no idea what they hope to accomplish by that. But since they seem to like it I didn’t say anything 😀

  5. July 30, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    It’s a habit, F5 i.e.
    Like tapping your feet or pacing a corridor 😛

  6. 7 Rannelee
    July 30, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    wasn’t surprised following how screwed up schools examination papers are.. its always easy to ban mobile phones rather than fixing the system..

    Refresh – you know what “restart” is a very female thing to do, whereas “refresh” is quite masculine.. I have noticed and I wonder 😀

  7. 9 Chavie
    July 31, 2009 at 8:10 am

    refresh… I do it a lot… on twitter! 😀

    and that wanking part is genius man! haha 😉

  8. July 31, 2009 at 11:35 am

    @papareboy
    You’re just weird.

    @chathura
    It’s annoying to me. i keep… twitching each time they do that. At least use the shortcut, but noooo.

    @fallen
    :/

    @Ran
    Females do it too 😛

    @chavie
    Yeah, watch out 😛


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