Four Types of Facebook Creeps

I’ve been on facebook a while now. I haven’t really done much on it other than accept the occasional friend request and comment on pictures of me, but I’ve noticed stuff. People. Decided to list a few types.

  • The males that have a roundabout way of showing interest – I have a friend. She posted a few pictures recently. I went over to look at them, and while flipping through each picture I notice something strange. Along with the text like “2 comments” and  “In this picture:”, there is the ever present “x likes this picture, along with the thumbs up icon. On every. Single. Picture. I keep going and come across a few comments by the same person. “oh wow ur smile. it is so beautiful”. Way to go there casanova, freak her out by going on to click “Like” on every single one of her pictures and flooding her with notifications. Why don’t you just write “I love you” on her wall?
  • The Drama Queen – Any gender can be this. The most recent example I came across was a male. A note is posted. With a bad joke. Snarky comments are made by me. Owner denies thinking up note(he didn’t). More snarkyness. And bam! I’m barred from seeing the note. Not even a “plez how do I make snarky comments lyk that to peepal” message. I’m offended. All I get is a reply to not comment or read if I don’t like it. I mean, I was in a state to write “I h8 uu!!!11” on his wall! Hmph.
  • Stalkers – Usually male. These teenagers, sometimes even grown men, will browse through facebook looking for people to add to their friends lists. No surprise that they’re usually female. They see some girl, say to each other “Isn’t she the sister of that girl who talks to the girl who sits at the back of the class in the class next to ours while she waits to be picked up after class?” and agree unanimously. Otherwise it’s “Isn’t that that dude’s girlfriend’s sister’s friend’s sister?”. Eventually half the population is on their friend lists.
  • Me – I have a peculiar predicament. I used to get on only to confirms friend requests from people I knew. Which created a general impression of me not really being around fb much, the only activity generated being from my blog posts being sent as notes. Now I have a problem. I have this feeling that I should keep this image of me not being on it much intact, but it leaves me helpless when I actually want to add people to my friends list. If I send request around willy-nilly my image of being ‘too cool for facebook’, or ‘too uncool for more than 100 friends’ rather, is shattered. So I wait patiently till they eventually add me.

Why don’t females suddenly flood my inbox with “i really lyk your hair, can i touch it”? Why don’t females start writing poetry to random males? Why do people put LOL at the end of every damn comment, even when it’s not remotely funny? Why must my brain die a little each time I go on there and see what people say? Why are the comments sections turning into youtube comment sections?

I don’t know. I’m off to go change my profile pic and look at pictures of strange exotic girls.

I hear they want to “friend me”.

13 Responses to “Four Types of Facebook Creeps”

  1. 1 sabbyaz
    August 4, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Chee, shame…
    You have less than 100 friends =P

  2. 2 gutterflower
    August 4, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    thank you for answering my higher education queries.

  3. 3 Delilah
    August 4, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Why don’t females suddenly flood my inbox with “i really lyk your hair, can i touch it”?

    erm got a mirror? :p

  4. August 4, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    LOL *that naturally popped out since your post did sound amusing* =D

    I had the same plus many more questions buzzing in my head about FB, and the times I spent on FB kept dwindling like the waning moon and then.. the myriads of absurd nonsensical quizzes, cheesy apps, miles long newsfeeds capturing celebrity-level, borrowed-philosophical status messages and what not drove me nuts so.. I discontinued my a/c for a while.. and finally.. found solace! lol

    Yep, the FB seems to be infested with all kinds of people *both terrestrial and extraterrestrial* so.. it’s natural that we become cautious about whom we interact. =D Then again.. I also think it’s a ‘wonderful’ place to study human psychology and sociology and politics and what not. hehe..

  5. August 4, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    Nowadays the only reason I go on fb is either to put up photos, or to temporarily change my privacy settings so that ppl who want to see me on their friend’s list can actually see me *cough* 😛

  6. 9 man-stalker
    August 4, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Oh ok then..
    I really lyk your hair.. can I douche it? 😛

  7. 10 chathuraw
    August 4, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    I don’t think I belong to any of those categories 😛

    And how come the females didn’t make it into this list? 😀

  8. August 4, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    LOL at the first one. And why don’t they say “i really lyk your hair, can i touch it”? Easy. YOu don’t have any. 😛

  9. August 6, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    “Why don’t females start writing poetry to random males?”

    LMAO! =D.

  10. August 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    It’s more like… An elite list 😛

    My pleasure. Always happy to help a fellow student in need.

    There’s still enough to touch! 😛

    Those borrowed status messages are so annoying. All the people complimenting the person on their originality is even more so!

    Yes, like himal said, *cough* indeed 😛 Should I be honoured? 😛

    No. But you CAN do something about papareboy’s hair. They look like pubes.

    another list for another post my friend 😀

    Like I said, I have enough to touch! It’s all… furry like 😛

    You didn’t answer 😛

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