The Morning Mail

I trudge into work. My inbox awaits me. It is not empty. Read through, then switch to my rarely used hotmail account. A friend seems to have used some site which has sent me a recommendation. I never get sites that get you to recommend them to others before you’ve used them.


I humour this noobish friend *cough*sabby*cough* and see what the site is about. Apparently you get to “Know if you are important to a contact”. Egad, computers have finally progressed enough to gauge people’s feelings about each other. Or maybe I’m getting too excited. Maybe it just sends out “You received this because you are important to me. Send this to 3,000,000 people who are important to you, including me, if you consider me on that list. <3” to all your contacts.

This method is sure to get replies, and not just from the likes of those who worship Miley Cyrus, i.e. 13-year old girls and fallen. Definitely not.

Further, the site promises to “Delete from your MSN the contacts that doesn’t want to talk to you”. I wish people on my contact list used that. A lot. Especiall-


What is this little pop-up on the side of my screen? Looks just like the MSN messenger pop-ups. Hurm.

A young lady has been photographed in the nude, with just her hands covering her, um… lady parts. That is the picture. There is text next to it. Oh my, “I’m all by myself at home in COLOMBO”. There is a name in the title; “Angie”. But wait! The box disappears.

To be replaced by yet another notice! Apparently another scantily clad young lady by the name of “Helen from COLOMBO”, who seems to find an image of her posterior suitable for a dp, has sent me a message. While I was pondering over her use of old-style names, mentioning where she hails from and all, this box too, disappeared.

I curse myself for not taking prudent action and contacting these ladies to warn them of the dangers of letting strangers on the internet know they are alone at home. It’s full of perverts and papareboy. It also struck me as strange that there were so many young Caucasian ladies in Colombo. Within the space of about two minutes I had been notified of around six or seven respectable young women who had been left alone at home. We must utilize these bored souls and banish unemployment among these poor lonely ladies.

I was just about to click on one of the message boxes when I realized I wasn’t an internet noob and closed the window. Then I got back to doing something productive, like typing his post.


5 Responses to “The Morning Mail”

  1. 1 sabbyaz
    August 14, 2009 at 10:05 am

    I don’t even forward =(
    My MSN went berserk yesterday too =(

  2. 2 Chavie
    August 14, 2009 at 10:05 am

    HAHAHAHA loved it!!! πŸ˜€ what’s even more pathetic is how they put some random suburbs name from around here “10 hot girls in Kollonnawa want to **** you right now!” I mean, I have to go to Kollonnawa? come on! πŸ˜€

  3. August 15, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    Haha! Ive seen those especially when I try to download like movies and stuff at the corner side bar. A white blondie in the pic with Samanthi in Dehiwela aged 42! Meet me now. LOL. Like Am ever gonna accept it anyway. =D


  4. August 17, 2009 at 9:26 am

    Yes, you did. The site has a checkbox saying “Recommend to my friends” or something!

    I know. Some people actually fall for this stuff :/

    Who knows, maybe they target lesbians too?

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