22
Aug
09

PapareFAIL

Last Friday was failFriday. A series of unfortunate exclamations, if you must. Meet failboy, vileness and fallen at the Thummulla Barista. Fallen read some failpoetry to us which we completely ignore, preferring to discuss the baffling mysteries of why the outdoor seating things were made of wood. Baffled, we were. A ride from TMS later we were again at Eatmore restaurant. More fried rice was consumed as whacko had failpoetry spoken at him by fallen. Many heavy subjects were discussed, none of which were featured in the poem.

Later, we decided to go to the beach, since we were all broke and the beach was free. We also secretly planned to sell fallen to hairy old German tourists hanging around the beach but that didn’t quite go according to plan. And then this happened-

Scene: Last Friday, on a Moratuwa bus on the way to Mt. Lavinia.

Stfallen: Yeah Vin Diesel movies usually suck…

Whacko : Yeah there was that racing movie thing… what was it called? Ah Need for Speed!

After we convinced fallen not to tweet every single thing that happened, we got to Mount. Then whacko pointed out that there was a gaming cafe right there. We weighed our options. The beach. Free, sand and… well… nothing much else. Selling fallen would be difficult in this stretch. Games, well, that sounded much more fun. And we had just enough, counting all the ten rupee notes in our wallets, for an hour. We settled into playing when the greatest fail of the night happened.

Scene : At Venus gaming cafe at Mt. Lavinia. Fallen, whacko, failboy and myself are playing Call of Duty.

failboy : Dude I’m getting the hang of this!

whacko : *kills fallen*

fb : Dude! That was cool! This looks cool man…

me : *kills whacko*

fb : Dude I killed him! Haha!

me : Err… no, dude, I killed him.

fb : But it said “You killed Whacko” on my screen, and I’m getting pretty good at this now, I can kill you too you know!

whacko : *looks at fb’s screen* wtf? Dude, you’re spectating through Jerry’s player!

me : *look at scoreboard*

all : *Break out in laughter as we discover fb had been spectating all this time*

all : *point and laugh at failboy’s EPIC FAIL.

After that, failboy was too embarrassed to do anything so he just quit and created a Counter Strike server called “papareboy’s mom”. On which he again got killed repeatedly. Later was Need for Speed. Failboy fell back by a few thousand light years in the first lap itself so he decided to go the other way, intending to impede us by crashing into us. He didn’t. Not a single hit. Missed by miles, on roads only three meters wide. He learned the basic lesson that it is extremely hard to crash into someone head-on when your combined speeds are in the hundreds of miles per hour. Thankfully he didn’t try to go backwards in the Sprint tracks.

After we all thanked failboy for the entertainment, we all set off home. People, if any PC game thing comes up, just take papareboy. The opposing team will be too busy rolling on the floor laughing their limbs off to notice you killing them.

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16 Responses to “PapareFAIL”


  1. August 22, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Don’t you mean The Fast and the Furious?

  2. 5 Chavie
    August 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    hahahaha duuude Venus?! when we were at school we used to hang out there for hours on end… to the point that some parents got anal about it and they banned kids from coming in wearing school uniforms… 😕

    poor Papare… never fails to deliver a good laugh ne? 😀

  3. August 22, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    you forgot the chap who called Cinderella Man a chick flick 😀

  4. August 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    ROFLNESS 😆 HA HA HA Ive seen ghost specing but this is the first time i heard of Kill-Specing. Papare FTF!!! xD

  5. August 22, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    haha wow that really IS a series of fails…. lol… “Im getting the hang of this!”.. priceless! 😀

  6. August 22, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Oooh Call of Duty…I like! And I don’t even like gaming. I killed a dog in COD4 once. Actually I killed it lotsa times ‘cos I kept killing myself (on purpose) immediately afterwards so that I could restart that section and kill the dog again. And yes I know that’s not the point of the game but…

    …wait…does that mean I’ve killed more times in COD than Papare? HAHAHAHAHA *points and laughs*

  7. August 22, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    Somehow I’m reminded of South Park…


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