A Letter to My 16-Year Old Self


Carry on. Imagine you never read this. I’m only writing this thing to complete some tag I got while blogging; On the Internet. From someone calling himself the “Whackster”. It gets less geeky by the time you start, I assure you.

I’m not going to tell you anything, nor will I tell you how anything turns out. A bunch of random people around the world might have suddenly received updates from their future and letters of advice, but you’re sure as hell not getting anything. I’m not even going to tell you what stocks to invest in (Neither did any of the others but that’s their loss).

So yeah, this letter is a disappointment. Didn’t I tell you to pretend you never saw this? Suffice to say we still exist on the 20th of November in 2009. Now don’t go throwing yourself in front of buses or anything.

Live long and prosper!


 I don’t see much point in telling myself anything. That little runt can learn from his own mistakes. Telling myself to take school more seriously or that females will always be as incomprehensible as breadfruit (Seriously, bread?) would only serve to make me panic and treat women like I treat breadfruit; Keep at arm’s length and never put in a blender, which is a good thing. But besides that, I like who I am right now.

In addition to possibly saving me from a fate of becoming some violent murderer who hunts women with a blender, I don’t think I would change a single thing if given the chance.

Yes, I know I’m perfect I’m far from perfect, but I’ve grown attached to this. I’ve pissed off people, been mean, selfish, stupid and annoying plenty of times but well, I’m satisfied with what I’ve ended up with.

Not for me the character changes, personality traits, relationship advice and being less of an asshole. I laugh at your insecurities and dissatisfaction with yourselves. I ROFL at your mind’s unrest, over trivial matters in the long run. I LMAO at your young self’s need for reassurance of pimples disappearing and love being found!

I say, a teenager needs to go through all that stuff. Don’t steal the anticipation, anxiety, pain or tears, for they are what define you.

On second thought, maybe I might just tell my past self to ease up on the corniness a bit, and also remind myself never to tell internet people that my name is Gerald, due to all kinds of undesirables lurking around on the internet who can, for example, add bits to it to make it sound like a girl’s name.

You never know what kinds of degenerates you find through this ‘blogging’ thing.


18 Responses to “A Letter to My 16-Year Old Self”

  1. 1 sabbyaz
    November 20, 2009 at 10:33 am

    This started out hilarious but then you turned into…well you…and then I wanted to basically throw a blender at you.

    But good stuff.

    And I think the reason why you don’t have much to say to your 16 year old self is coz…well you just met him like, yesterday.


  2. November 20, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Come on. Geraldine isn’t that bad.

    No, wait. Actually, it is.

  3. 6 Delilah
    November 20, 2009 at 10:52 am

    aw Geraldine. picturing you in a bonnet with a frilly parasol in one hand and a blender in the other. and yeah its quite bad.

  4. November 20, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Yeah… even I was thinking Geraldine and I never spoke to anyone about it!

    As for degenerates case in point this blog: https://thejester100.wordpress.com/

  5. 8 Chavie
    November 20, 2009 at 11:41 am

    hahaha 😀 good one! 😉

  6. November 20, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Gerald Berald Perald.

    “Keep at arm’s length and never put in a blender”..

    I wish most men thought like you.

  7. November 20, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    funny as always 😀

  8. November 20, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    I third what Dee said! Aren’t you only 18 going on 12?! 😛

  9. November 20, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Liver long and prosper kiddo ! 😀

  10. November 20, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Geraldiiine…you just made my day 😀

  11. November 20, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    You’re hilarious! (and so..ooo young!) 🙂

  12. November 21, 2009 at 12:30 am

    I don’t think anything beats Kistopah though
    Jareld 😀

  13. November 22, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    haha definitely one of my favourites outta the whole 16-yr old thingy.. tho perhaps in your case you should have written to future self, since you ARE 16…

    this blender theory sounds rather disturbing tho, i must say…

  14. November 23, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    breadfruit? well, I s’pose I should be grateful for the blender bit?

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