A Christmas Tale

It’s Christmas again, and I am forced to crawl back from my blogging hiatus, imposed partly by limited access to the internet and partly by general laziness.

This year’s Christmas looks to be the tamest in quite a while for me. There’s just more cake than the rest of the year floating around.

Christmas, as the years passed

I can’t even write a proper post. That’s how bad this season is. I just can’t think of anything. It’s as if some weird parasite has been sucking out all my energy.

So instead, I will leave you with a Christmas tale of woe, misery and also some hope.

There was once (and still is) a young man of 20. He lived in the magical land or Sri Lanka, and was, at the moment, just sitting around at home most days since he was unemployed. Education took only weekends and he had plenty of time to just relax and do whatever he pleased.

But one day, suddenly, his mother said to him “Christmas is coming, you better get ready to clean the house!”

“It’s still quite a long way away; it won’t get here so fast that I won’t notice it creeping up on me.”

It did.

And so, two days before Christmas day our hero sat, trying to type write a letter to send to all his friends, because he was nice like that and liked to…write letters to his friends. But alas! His mother again said to him “Venture outside the house, and what do you see? There is a wild bush growing just outside the gates! Take this blade, and slaughter it for me, for I do not wish our home to be ridiculed by the neighbors!”

“Mmmffrrprglll”, he replied, engrossed in his letter.

“You are but a good for nothing spick of a lad, do you know? Your brother would have done what I bade him”

“Then why not ask my sibling to carry out the cleaning?”

“He has work.”

“He is but playing ‘Dragon Age’ over by yonder abacus, mother!”

“Quiet, youngling! You will go clean out the weeds by the gate, or else!”

“But why must Christmas be full of this cleaning business and you yelling at me to do things?”

“Because that’s what we do for Christmas”

“Yell at me?”

“Nay, fool boy. We clean our house so that visitors think it’s clean all year round.”

“But is Christmas not a celebration of the birth of Jesus? Would he not rather you cleaned someone else’s abode?”

“Don’t try to get smart with me boy; you do what you are told”

“But Jesus was born in a filthy farmstead!”

“But you aren’t Jesus are you? You are welcome to go live in the shed outside, but as long as you live in my house and you don’t find gainful employment to keep you away from home this season, you clean it”

“What would Jesus do?”

“Clean it.”

And so the young man ventured out the door of his home, stood around for a few minutes till his mother scurried off somewhere else, then strolled back in the same door, and sat.

He then continued to sneak into the kitchen, steal some cake and run out the back door, not stopping till he reached the house of a nearby friend, who happened to be of a different religion and did not have to go through the cleaning ritual.

Merry Christmas Everyone!


23 Responses to “A Christmas Tale”

  1. December 23, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    “What would Jesus do?”
    “Clean it.”

    Hahaha! I came. I read. I amazed.

    Jerry Christmas to you 😛

  2. December 23, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    LOL! Good one! 😆

    Merry Christmas!

  3. December 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    “But why must Christmas be full of this cleaning business and you yelling at me to do things?”

    “Because that’s what we do for Christmas”


    Jerry Merryilicious Christmas, nao. 😀

  4. 4 Whacko
    December 23, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    nearby friend? you mean that old bear in his cave don’t you?

  5. 6 T
    December 23, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    nice one geraldine.

  6. 7 Chavie
    December 23, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    hahaha WWJD?! 😀

    Merry Christmas Berriah! 😉

  7. December 23, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    Thank you for that Jerry. Been having a severe case of Christmas blues but you provided me with some much needed smiles. Hope you’re having a good one none-the-less 🙂

  8. December 23, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    You’re definitely having a very Jerry Christmas dude 😀

  9. 10 chathuraw
    December 23, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    LOL… Nice one. Merry XMas Jerry 😀

  10. December 24, 2009 at 7:17 am

    “Nay, fool boy. We clean our house so that visitors think it’s clean all year round.”


    Merry Christmas Jerry!

  11. December 24, 2009 at 10:42 am

    lol! Merry x’mas Jerry!

  12. December 24, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Whereeeeeeeeee did my comment go?!

    This was hilarious, as usual 😛
    What happened to all the topics I suggested you write about?! Cake is all I found! 😀

    On an unrelated note, can I have some cake please?!

  13. 15 Delilah
    December 24, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    🙂 berry christmas geraldine. want cake.

  14. December 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    A very amusing post. I am impressed! 🙂

  15. December 24, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    Ho ho ho, nice one.

    Merry Christmas Jerry!

  16. 19 Cadence
    December 24, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    Merry Christmas Jerreh!

  17. 20 Dulan
    December 24, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    ’tis not the season for xmas cheer
    when the elections are so near
    but this little tale
    with which you regale
    is the reason I’ll add you on my RSS!

    Jerry christmas, dude!

  18. 21 Haymar
    December 27, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    This is my first time visiting your blog. Nice one. Funny. 😀

  19. December 31, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    @unsilent, meg, purple
    Thanks, hope you had a great time 🙂

    No, I recently befriended a sentient tree.

    @MC, T, Chavie

    Glad I could increase the quality of your Christmas 🙂

    @Dili, chathura, sach & angel

    Thank ye, hop yours was as good, if not better!


    @Sabby & delilah
    I couldn’t remember. SOMEBODY didn’t text me the topics 😛
    Cake is available to all who come pick it up 😛

    Pfft. As if you’d expect any less from me!

    @SI, sittingnut, cadence
    Thanks, hope your season was jolly!

    to be on your reader
    is but a great ego feeder,
    and I can’t rhyme anymore so thank you for the follow!

    Hope you stick around and read the rest 🙂

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