The State of the Union

Yet again my mom has gone off to India leaving us to fend for ourselves over here. My brother went along with her too.

Now usually, this wouldn’t have been a problem but now that my sister has to go to work, it means that my dad and I are left to our own devices for breakfast and lunch. This wouldn’t have been so bad if my dad didn’t still subscribe to the college frat boy school of cooking. Every meal is an experiment. Some might say this is a good thing but I think we’re forgetting about the countless experiments that go wrong and produce things like Godzilla, mutated sheep or Papareboy. Any dish that doesn’t quite taste right just needs more ingredients. The grocery list is a recipe to this far too common type of man. Eventually your meals start tasting like spongebob.

Women should just handle the cooking. After all, the best cooks being male means nothing. I’m sure there are outstanding females in classically male things as well; Such as not being insane.

So back to the food.

I just wake up each morning and wonder what I have. Today I found loaves of bread inside the microwave. I used a sharp looking piece of metal to cut the loaf into smaller pieces and made myself some chocolate sauce (the only recipe worth knowing for a man) and ate. Then I giggled (in a manly, testosterone filled way), thinking of how chocolate sauce is the only thing I’ll ever need to make. At least until my teeth start falling out at 23 and I start sweating sugar cubes.

But I digress. Cooking really annoys me because it just takes so much time. Time which could, for example, be spent on twitter or something. What? It’s just like real life, except more text and… less gravity. Men invented things like dishwashers and fire so that they could avoid the whole ordeal by not having to wash up after, and being able to make nearly anything eatable. Women think men need to enjoy cooking more, men think women have smaller feet so they can stand closer to the sink.

I just had naan and chocolate sauce for dinner again. I think this calls for some culinary skills beyond knowing what a spoon is. Or I might just show up at your doorstep with a “Will cease being sexist for food” sign.

Went to Kalpitiya over the weekend. Pics and details will be up on SinhalayaTravels soon. I hope.

9 Responses to “The State of the Union”

  1. January 6, 2010 at 10:01 am

    Another classic case of a man who can’t fend for themselves.
    So *eats home made pizza* what else is new?! 😛

  2. January 6, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Hee Hee

    Guess what I just made… Pasta, with delicious tomato puree 🙂

  3. 3 T
    January 6, 2010 at 10:51 am

    If you come to my doorstep with that sign, i will fo sho cook you something. At your own risk of course.

  4. January 6, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Cooking doesnt annoy u as long as u love and adore food with all ur heart.

  5. 5 Chavie
    January 6, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    “Women think men need to enjoy cooking more, men think women have smaller feet so they can stand closer to the sink.”

    rofl! classic man! 😀

  6. 6 chathuraw
    January 6, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    When I’m left alone for a day or so most of my meals consist of Cornflakes. Maybe you should get some 😀

  7. January 8, 2010 at 12:24 am

    Women and small feet? That’s a gem. LOL. Oh BTW, Ketchup. When you need a change from chocolate sauce.

  8. January 8, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    Why is it that while it is women who do most of the cooking in the average house almost all the famous and celebrated Chef’s are men?

    Seems rather unfair that they carry most of the burden but share little of the glory.

  9. January 8, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    I like cooking. I hate cleaning. Tell you what, we’ll barter – come fix some things for me, and I’ll feed you.

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