Ladies and Gentlemen; The Truth!

 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Truth. This post will be that post you read and then print and frame a copy of. If you’re a man that is. If you’re a woman you’ll… I don’t know, what are you doing on the internet anyway? Get back to the kitchen or we’ll revoke your Praveena allowance.

I just read THIS post on Mathawaada by the Foxhound. It prompted me to first take manly swig of air in my lungs and roar like a lion having its tail caught in an elevator door. Then it prompted me to come here and jot down a clarification on what’s what in the world of terrorism.

This great big blue whale of a lie about men being wrapped around the little finger of these women “flaunting their stuff” is such a pile of Nokias* it might as well be a post by a female. A woman can shed pheromones like a rabid hyena in heat but no self-respecting man is going to envy the crevasse of a bosom like lemmings to a cliff.

I like to think of myself as a normal male. When I’m not running over vegetarians and throwing cabbages at feminists, that is. As of now I live in the sticks, study in the sticks and also work in the sticks. If it weren’t for other people I’d never see the inside of a Barista in years. So if anything seeing an attractive, intelligent female should be an event of celestial proportions for me.

And you know what happens when I do come across a member of the opposite sex who is both attractive and manages to “flaunt” her stuff? I usually start off by insulting them and then if they hang around I usually don’t drop to my knees and wail at them to allow me to worship at the altar of their feminine ways. No man not living in a basement and whose only idea of women is the product of a Japanese cartoonist being impaled by a dozen tentacles is likely to drool like a biped bovine.

And no, unlike the original poster, I don’t mind the risk of being called misogynistic. God knows you’ve had plenty of opportunity in all the previous posts.

*Refer this post for the Nokia thing.

7 Responses to “Ladies and Gentlemen; The Truth!”

  1. March 15, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    I like to think of myself as a normal male.” – Whatever gave you that idea?! :O


  2. 3 hijinx
    March 15, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    you DON’T fall to your knees and wail? I beg to differ. 😛

  3. March 15, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    Hmmm… narmal? Deluded… much!

  4. 5 Chavie
    March 15, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    “If it weren’t for other people I’d never see the inside of a Barista in years” – Ah I should thank you buggers for taking me into that place! lol 😉

  5. 6 Delilah
    March 16, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    funny how for a post that claims ‘the truth’, there isnt an ounce of truth except maybe for the part where you admit your unfailing affiliation to the sticks 🙂

    also, normal?

  6. March 17, 2010 at 4:58 am

    LOL. So, the ladies lost their Praveena allowance?

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