Courting Rituals

I’m quite handicapped at the whole “picking up women” thing. I chalk this down to two things;

Not playing a musical instrument
This is a huge drawback if you’re male. Most musical instruments, excluding, of course, such oddities as the Triangle and That Thing You Shake With Sand Inside, exude pheromones of some sort. The sort that make the minds of womenfolk go blank with adoration and glee. It’s been like that for centuries. Kids nowadays grow up listening to Katy Perry asking a dude to “infect me with your love and fill me with your poison”. I don’t see how they can still be that swayed by music when they’re older and slightly more independent. But then again, I remember listening, and humming along to the Thong Song growing up. I didn’t have a clue what it meant though.

Need I say anything here? Poetry is to me what logic is to women. Completely incomprehensible and dangerous if exposed to in large quantities. Writing poetry, for me, is like a cat trying to climb up the sides of a gigantic washing machine it’s been put inside, with walls covered in molasses. Unfortunately, women seem to appreciate this. Even if it’s the kind of poetry that would make the paper it gets printed on turn black with its mute screams of blatant injustice.


In other news, I’m buying a camera. I initially though of getting one shipped from Amazon, but that means spending 10% of the value of the camera in shipping costs. I’ve been looking around here, and have found a few options. Let me know if anyone’s selling a DSLR.


17 Responses to “Courting Rituals”

  1. 1 chathuraw
    November 24, 2010 at 8:57 am

    “Poetry is to me what logic is to women.”

    Hahahahaha 😀

  2. November 24, 2010 at 9:32 am

    😀 so glad u r getting ur camera. about time ! 😀

  3. 3 Chavie
    November 24, 2010 at 9:54 am

    LOL, what Chathura and Sachi said, aaaand try to master Haiku. I couldn’t make head or tail of it, but 5-7-5 is easier than a whole damn poem, right? 😀

  4. November 24, 2010 at 10:07 am

    And Katy Perry is on your mp3 player though you aren’t a kid anymore… 😛

  5. 5 Delilah
    November 24, 2010 at 11:09 am

    you chalk this down to TWO things? only two? really? 🙂

  6. November 24, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Thanks a lot, dude. I really needed visions of you dancing to Thong Song in my head.

    And speaking of visions, Delilah, I saw you in a dream this morning. It was… disturbing, to say the least.

  7. 11 Thilina
    November 24, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I can play guitar.. on iphone.. FML

  8. November 24, 2010 at 1:56 pm


    1. If you need Poetry and an Instrument to pick chicks up, Imaad Majeed or St Fallen will be Sri Lanka’s biggest man whore.
    2. I agree with the first sentence except its not 2 things. Remember women are complex creatures and there are multiple factors that will result in you getting more than a minute of their time.
    3. You can get laid using a DSLR. Been there. Done that. So you’re on the way to greener (or should I say wetter?) pastures.
    4. Check facebook.Loads of people selling a DSLR. Or go for an Easy Payment Scheme somewhere like Photo Technica.

  9. November 24, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    A guy who can write good poetry. Swoon!

  10. 14 cf
    November 24, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    there are girls who don’t always fall for those two things mentioned above, Jerry.

  11. 15 Sabby
    November 25, 2010 at 10:11 am

    I have enough proof to be able to say ‘bollocks’

  12. 16 T
    November 25, 2010 at 10:24 am

    I would pick good sense of humor over being able to write poetry. You’re a funny guy gerald!

  13. November 25, 2010 at 11:44 am

    sadly Piano dont sell well with the ladies, its always the guitars and drums arhhgggg. Neither does the street form poetry 😦

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