The State of The Union

Hello and welcome to my first post of the year. Following in my usual tradition of being fashionably late, I decided to write something down to sate the minds of all the people visiting daily to check if I’d posted anything. All you people who kept checking, thank you. Even the two of you who got here by searching for “white man posh shower”.

To start with, the mother is leaving for India again in approximately six hours from now. This is dire news as I now have even less faith in my cooking skills than I did the last time around. Unless I survive off roadkill or something, I am seriously concerned about my chances of survival. Add to these woes the fact that I plan to buy a camera in a couple of weeks, meaning I’m stingy like a micro-managing pimp these days.

In more positive news, we recently went to Galle during the lit fest. Attended the free event, Readings at Sunset. Or something. It was at a hotel a bit towards Unawatuna. We had the misfortune of attending last year too, when we cycled to galle. This year would be different, we hoped. Alas, it was not to be so as we were yet again assaulted with wave after wave of what we were assured was “Great literature” and authors who were supposedly “The greatest writers in the country”.

I’ve read a lot of Sri Lankan “writing” on these here inter-tubes. I don’t think most of you would fancy yourselves professional writers and erstwhile gay fashion statements, but honestly, you lot write content that is far superior to what I was assaulted by at Galle. You are the USS Kennedy to their Titanic. The Great Wall of China to their parapet wall behind my house. The Murali to their …me. I don’t know, I’m the worst bowler I know.

It felt like the written form of Mahagedara being read out. I was literally falling asleep listening to some lady yap on about some freaky love triangle like it was the third world war. It was full of people in the audience chattering about this great person and that other scandalous man. Rumours and gossip was thrown liberally around like pasta at a 4 year old’s birthday party. Except 4 year olds usually have more decorum.

So yes, the lit fest events weren’t that great to us. On the bright side, Himal being the bundle of fun he usually is, entertained us early on in the trip by managing to tumble down the side of the fort ramparts, all optimus-prime-dying like. It was the funniest thing I’d seen all year.

It’s taken me nearly half an hour to write that child of a post. I have many tales to tell but so little time/inclination to do so. I also hope that I’ll have the energy to do so next time I decide to post, seeing as how I have no nutritional plan for the coming month.

Wish me luck! And lunch.

12 Responses to “The State of The Union”

  1. February 11, 2011 at 12:48 am

    Tsk tsk. so un-hardcore :p speaking of hardcore. the Lair is open again, don’t know for how long so get your ass over there and comment. And you forgot the sex drugs and feces read of Lasantha’s.

  2. 2 Chavie
    February 11, 2011 at 6:20 am

    “It felt like the written form of Mahagedara being read out.”… LOL, that bad huh? πŸ˜€

  3. February 11, 2011 at 9:23 am

    What about the bad rap poetry accompanied by the didgeridoo?!
    I felt the didgeridoo music was ruined by the poet shouting “OXYTOCIN! OXYTOCIN! OXYTOCIN!” and hopping about wildly… Why was he obsessed with the female reproduction hormone that stimulates lactation?

  4. February 11, 2011 at 10:10 am

    my biggest regret is that i spent four days there and yet somehow missed Himal’s epic fall.

    i didn’t go to a lot of the readings, but I did listen to Andrei Kurkov, who is ridiculously funny!

  5. February 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    No comments on the lit fest – never been there. On the other hand, your mom should plan better – leaving you in May/June to fend for yourself from dan-selas.

  6. February 11, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    This is what I’ve been telling you guys about for a loooooooong time now. We’ve got some terrible writers out there publishing CRAP and getting feted as our national writers at literary events here and abroad.

    In Chavie’s words, “Sri Lankan writing is the special needs child of the literary world.”

    Why the hell does it have to be? We have some brilliant writers / bloggers amongst us?
    Go write a book Jerry πŸ˜›

    Sorry for the rant – this is my soapbox πŸ˜€

  7. February 11, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Seriously? Is GLF like this every year? Welcome back Jerry =)

  8. February 12, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    I don’t need to prove myself as “hardcore” all the time. Unlike SOME people I know πŸ˜›

    Yes. Excruciating.

    I don’t know. It was art! You do not question art! πŸ˜›

    Funnily, enough, I got a pass for all the events _after_ most of the interesting ones were over. As for the fall, yes. It was of epic proportions. images will probably show up on flickr though, courtesy of some tourists… πŸ˜€

    Yeah :/

    Long time no see! It was a wedding this time, so we didn’t have much choice unfortunately.

    Like I said before, I doubt I’d have the willpower to write for that long continuously. Of course I have no doubts about it becoming a bestseller πŸ˜›

    At least that event has been, for two years running now. There were a few other events that were quite enlightening, I heard.

  9. 10 Ash
    February 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    You didn’t go to -all-, did you? That said, a lot of writers suck.. You could too, on occasion. :p Whose fault is it that the substandard crap is accepted?

    • February 14, 2011 at 7:26 pm

      I didn’t, some were supposed to be pretty good, actually. Just annoyed at the overwhelming crappiness of the “best we’ve got to offer”.

      I wouldn’t pick my less-than-awesome posts for publication, if it ever came to that, why would they?

  10. 12 Ash
    February 15, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    Maybe they didn’t know the difference between awesome and not-so? Very patriotic and caring of you to be looking out for the whole country’s rep, btw… :p so not what seems your usual style.

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