I’m Going Undercover, Folks

Feminism is strange. The whole point of feminism, I think, is to eventually make a world where feminists aren’t required, and hence don’t exist. So they’ll know a  job’s been completed when their ranks start thinning. Right now, they’re working to get women a better quality of life, to not be harassed each time they go out in public wearing anything short of a Big Bird outfit.

Bus harassment is very real. It’s a terrible problem plaguing our people. A scourge amongst the populace. Take for instance, what happened to me just last week.

I was in Boralle, about to get into a bus on my way to work. A woman got onto the footboard ahead of me. I followed behind and, as the bus started moving, quickly grabbed onto the handle-bar on the side of the doorway. The handle felt weird. I didn’t have to look at it. My finely honed instincts told me what it was. I had grabbed the woman’s hand in my haste to get on the bus.

If only my instincts were even remotely reliable. I had, upon further inspection, grabbed the handle in such haste that I had managed to capture a number of hair strands from the woman in front of me with my hand, on its curving path. As a result I was now holding on to this woman’s hair, firmly pinned to the handle-bar on the doorway. She continued upwards, was pulled back by her hair being held by my arm and very nearly fell back on me, knocking us both off the bus.

She being a woman and thus, finding basic reasoning to be as alien as cooking is to me, saw it fit to eyeball me viciously the whole time I was in the bus, as if I’d slapped her on the rump and gone “Beam me up, scotty!” or something. She even scowled at me as I got off the bus.

I’m currently involved in something called ReachOut, which is a loose organization kind of thing that does stuff to uphold women’s rights. Or something. BeyondBorders is teaming up with them, so I went along to see what I could sniff out about the feminist agenda. We’re doing a series of disruptive theatre performances, and a few workshops and things at schools based on the findings. We would appreciate it if some of you louts came along and lent a hand. Yes, the women are asking for help. Again. What else is new?

20 Responses to “I’m Going Undercover, Folks”

  1. 1 Chavie
    February 12, 2011 at 9:14 am

    LOL, your bus tales are only rivalled by Himal’s. 😉

    Also: PERV! 😀

  2. 2 Tulie
    February 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    AHEM! First off, what exactly is that picture supposed to represent?

    And I can’t blame the woman for glaring at you. You just MIGHT have done that accidentally but quite frankly, I am extremely tired of ‘accidental’ brushes and rubs on buses.

    This is what happens when a number of a certain demographic population behave in a certain way – the really innocent among them get flak and suspicion too. Deal with it 😛

  3. February 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    feminism as a cartoon?

    anyway since there are no standard females or males that fits various theories, and only unique individuals, most of feminist ideology is bs.
    in theory, ‘brushes and rubs’ in a bus may be harassment, but specific case may be accidental.

  4. 5 dee
    February 12, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Can’t help methinks. We’re barraged with leery perverts for years so every guys who little but brushes past you is a perv 😀 😀

  5. 7 Tulie
    February 12, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    I do agree with you sittingnut but I also stand by my own statement. True – everyone is finally a unique individual and shouldn’t be stereotyped.

    But stereotypes arise for a certain reason.
    “There’s no smoke without fire” as they say – for want of a better proverb.
    If a certain demographic population exhibit certain tendencies amongst their members for it to get noticed and commented on by others, they become stereotyped.

    Happens to all of us.

    Just for an example – I am a Tamil and my ID card is from Jaffna. During the war years, I could never get through any check point without having my bag, my lunch box and whatever else I had on my person searched. I had to have a police report confirming where I lived and a document proving what I was doing in Colombo – be it studies or work.

    I got used to it but If Sinhalese or Muslim friends traveled with me, they were always shocked by the intense searches and questioning. They were just used to handing over their IDs and having it handed back to them without comment.

    One Muslim friend of mine snapped at an army officer when he opened my lunch box only to be snapped back at; “She’s from Jaffna – she might be a Tiger.”

    Friends from other denominations who got to see this were always very angry at the ‘violation of my rights’ but I didn’t see it like that.

    Yes, ppl from my hometown were a security risk in Colombo. Yes, they were coming up with more and more ingenious methods of sneaking in bombs everywhere, including acting as pregnant women.

    The Army had a job to do and they were doing it. I had nothing at all to do with the LTTE but I didn’t take any offence at all over what I was subjected to.

    That’s the way it works; the innocent have to pay along with the guilty when a stereotype arises.

    I have thus far kept quiet in buses over those ‘accidental brushes and rubs’. Perverts these days don’t dare do it openly – unless I suppose they hone in on a really timid or under-aged female. They always contrive to do it ‘accidentally.’ Maybe, when I get fed up and finally choose to yell at a person, it just might be for a really accidental incident. Could you blame me?

    Knowing Jerry personally, I know he wouldn’t do that deliberately but what you males who don’t harass females like that don’t seem to realize is that there are PLENTY of you who do. So don’t huddle together and cry ‘feminism’ when we complain.

    There are some extreme perverts out there who can do some vicious things to hurt absolute strangers. The woman in front of Jerry probably thought he had been deliberately trying to unbalance her.

    Some time ago, I saw a woman with the long pleated headpiece of her Kandyan saree (the part thrown over the shoulder) making her way to the front of the moving bus to get down. The headpiece was a little too long. As she was making her way down the steps, it swept the floor.

    In plain sight of everyone behind him, a man who was standing at the front, stepped on that headpiece. The woman in the process of getting off in a hurry came to a jerking halt and had to look back before he removed his shoe. He didn’t get down himself, he wss still standing there when the bus started again which meant it wasn’t accidental.

    We are subjected to and see others subjected to things like this everyday; can’t really blame the woman for glaring at Jerry – I would have done the same.

  6. February 12, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Guess what, underneath your post there was a Google Ad:

    Ads by Google
    Padded Panty Superstore
    So natural looking, no one can tell In-stock – fast, discreet shipping

    LMAO!! Didn’t know what’s funnier – your unfortunate incident or the ad placement. 😀

    Totally irrelevant shallow comment. I know. But who gives a s…? It was funny.

  7. February 14, 2011 at 8:54 am

    there ARE male KIDS who indulge in ‘brushes and rubs’ and footsies.

    what more can u say?

  8. February 14, 2011 at 10:22 am

    I approve of this message.

  9. 17 shewhothinkstoomuch
    February 14, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Somebody misspelled exercise 😛

    And you missed all the fun yesterday!

  10. 18 Ash
    February 15, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    You grabbed her by the hair n expected her not to glare? Wow, you must be used to some pretty submissive females. :p

  11. 19 Ash
    February 16, 2011 at 1:35 am

    And why does your ‘Skip to comments’ link just take me to the start of the post? :s

  12. February 16, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    A matter of good parenting.

    Why thank you, Gobama.


    It was an accident! Why does nobody see this? As for the link, I have no idea.

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