Archive for June, 2011

29
Jun
11

Guess the Quote!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen!

In today’s show of Guess Who Said It, we offer up a little morsel of a quote sure to warm the cockles of your heart with laughter. It was uttered last saturday when we were standing by the railway tracks at Marine Drive, just enjoying the damp rocks and the salt spray coating everything.

Today’s quote:

I’ll show you my shrimp! *menacing hand gestures*

So, ladies and gentlemen, can you guess who? The suspects offered up are, in no particular order,

  • @himalkk
  • @himalkk
  • @himalkk
  • A nearby humpback whale boasting to its partner about how many sea-creatures it can filter
  • A door to door seafood salesman
  • @himalkk
Take your pick folks! One lucky winner will get the opportunity to spend an evening with the man(or whale) himself, the owner of the quote.
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20
Jun
11

Sweetness

I remember a song by Jimmy Eat World called Sweetness. It was one of the first mp3 files I had on a cd, and felt very revolutionary. SO I played it over and over again to mock the audio cd’s with their 80-minute limit.

I always thought myself a reasonable person. Not given to bouts of insanity or cooking or anything. Just a regular Joe. But now, after seeing this, I want a games console. Yes. I’m ashamed to admit it too. My PC is looking at me suspiciously as I type. The week’s been a very strange and disturbing one, and it just got weirder with this new lust for a box of gaming goodness.

The impossibility of playing a first person shooter on consoles has always had me thinking that actually buying a console was akin to setting your hot-air balloon on fire to keep warm in the high-altitude air. Such a pointless device, devouring money and delivering games that looked five years old. Unlike a hot-air balloon, which gave you awesome views from miles up in the sky. Now there’s an investment.

18
Jun
11

Polar Bears Are Cool

My Rexona V8 roll-on deo is empty. Just like my soul. But hey, the axe spray is still half full. It’s even supposed to turn the wearer into a veritable pheromone factory. Or something.

The last few days have been a rollercoaster of epic proportions for my immune system. It all started a week ago when I turned up at a friends’ place to work on a freelance project we were doing together. Once I got there, I was thanked for showing up. Profusely. I was a little confused but I didn’t really take much notice. People like having me around. I have that effect on people. Part of it must be the deo.

A few hours into the weekend and having accomplished no work, I questioned the friend about it. He replied that “we’ll get to that after the work for the dhane is done”.

Right. The dhane.

Wait, what?

Slowly, it dawned on me that he had mentioned something about a dhane being held at his place around this date, about a week ago. A dhane is some kind of local ceremony where you basically throw a big party and invite a boatload of people over for free food. It’s also called an alms-giving. The act of feeding people will get you ping. I’m not sure how to explain what ping is. Suffice to say it has nothing to do with computer networks.

So I ended up hauling furniture, scrubbing walls and cleaning light fixtures. My mom would be the last to believe I was even capable of such domestic functions, thanks to me avoiding them like the plague while at home. The next Monday, I go home feeling like my stomach was the Madison Square Garden to a fight between a polar bear and a grizzly. The day after that I was feeling like said bears had punched each other out and were just lying around in my abdomen talking about the days when they used to be prize fighters and not just two lumps of bear sitting around in someones abdomen weighing him down all day so he couldn’t even go watch X-Men First Class with his friends. As if said someone ever did anything to them. Just look at em, sitting there swigging beers and taunting me with their ability to eat and drink whatever they please. Next thing you know they’ll be dragging a baby seal in there.

Stupid bears.

Anyway,

As of now I’m just about recovering from all this feverishness. Went to the doctor the other day and he gave me a fistful of pills that make me feel drunk. Should be alright by Monday.

Happy weekend, all.