Keells: a case study on sucking at saving the environment

So I have to go to the supermarket a lot now. Have a nexus card and all. I’m just missing the minivan, yes.

Keells has this big canvas bag they try to sell you when you checkout, saying that it’ll reduce plastic usage by x amount of African children killed etc. So I got one, since it was easier to carry and just 45 bucks.

Next time I walk in, proudly clutching my folded up red canvas bag/global warming solver, I was told to leave it in the baggage counter. Why? This just makes me use up the same amount of plastic bags and now has me fumbling about with the thing outside, trying to get all the stuff in, in a manner which I can only describe as reminiscent of a reverse childbirth.

I don’t even get to save the few cents they take off for not using bags.

Why must you piss in the wind, Keells? Why not let the bag full fill its purpose? Why do you hate it so? Why make me smuggle it in by wearing shorts with large pockets?

Why are people like this? Even my bank pulls stupid shit like this. I reset my online transaction password. I had to go fill out a form at a branch, log in and change the pass, and now I have to print out and send them an acknowledgement form. I use online banking because I don’t want to actually go to the bank, you schmuks.

The only alternative seems to be HSBC which apparently treats regular customers as if they were plague rats living on their estate grounds. Short of shooting people for daring to reset their PIN, I think HSBC has everything else from extreme condescension to outright harassment down pat.


6 Responses to “Keells: a case study on sucking at saving the environment”

  1. October 4, 2012 at 9:18 am

    OOh goood post Jer ! I can totally relate to you! Thumbs up on the nexus card man. 😀

  2. October 4, 2012 at 10:47 am

    I use online banking because I don’t want to actually go to the bank, you schmuks.

    Seriously, this pisses me off no end. Some banks need you to fax an acknowledgement form. Yeah, I know – fax!

    As for Keels, stop going there. Go to cargills, they have the same bag system and they allow you to bring it in. Actually, you should try bringing the keels bag into Cargills, just for ‘case study’ purposes.

    • 3 David Blacker
      October 4, 2012 at 11:56 am

      That’s prolly the only thing Cargills does right, and that too prolly ‘cos the security guard’s asleep. Cargills sucks big time. Bad products, useless staff.

  3. November 1, 2012 at 12:46 am

    They are all just out to make our lives as hard as they can I tell you. Sigh………….

  4. November 14, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    There’s a Cargills closer to your house. Why do you come all the way to Keells?

  5. October 23, 2017 at 11:06 am

    so late to this but this was hilarious

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