My Rexona V8 roll-on deo is empty. Just like my soul. But hey, the axe spray is still half full. It’s even supposed to turn the wearer into a veritable pheromone factory. Or something.
The last few days have been a rollercoaster of epic proportions for my immune system. It all started a week ago when I turned up at a friends’ place to work on a freelance project we were doing together. Once I got there, I was thanked for showing up. Profusely. I was a little confused but I didn’t really take much notice. People like having me around. I have that effect on people. Part of it must be the deo.
A few hours into the weekend and having accomplished no work, I questioned the friend about it. He replied that “we’ll get to that after the work for the dhane is done”.
Right. The dhane.
Slowly, it dawned on me that he had mentioned something about a dhane being held at his place around this date, about a week ago. A dhane is some kind of local ceremony where you basically throw a big party and invite a boatload of people over for free food. It’s also called an alms-giving. The act of feeding people will get you ping. I’m not sure how to explain what ping is. Suffice to say it has nothing to do with computer networks.
So I ended up hauling furniture, scrubbing walls and cleaning light fixtures. My mom would be the last to believe I was even capable of such domestic functions, thanks to me avoiding them like the plague while at home. The next Monday, I go home feeling like my stomach was the Madison Square Garden to a fight between a polar bear and a grizzly. The day after that I was feeling like said bears had punched each other out and were just lying around in my abdomen talking about the days when they used to be prize fighters and not just two lumps of bear sitting around in someones abdomen weighing him down all day so he couldn’t even go watch X-Men First Class with his friends. As if said someone ever did anything to them. Just look at em, sitting there swigging beers and taunting me with their ability to eat and drink whatever they please. Next thing you know they’ll be dragging a baby seal in there.
As of now I’m just about recovering from all this feverishness. Went to the doctor the other day and he gave me a fistful of pills that make me feel drunk. Should be alright by Monday.
Happy weekend, all.