Archive for the 'friends' Category


The State of The Union

Hello and welcome to my first post of the year. Following in my usual tradition of being fashionably late, I decided to write something down to sate the minds of all the people visiting daily to check if I’d posted anything. All you people who kept checking, thank you. Even the two of you who got here by searching for “white man posh shower”.

To start with, the mother is leaving for India again in approximately six hours from now. This is dire news as I now have even less faith in my cooking skills than I did the last time around. Unless I survive off roadkill or something, I am seriously concerned about my chances of survival. Add to these woes the fact that I plan to buy a camera in a couple of weeks, meaning I’m stingy like a micro-managing pimp these days.

In more positive news, we recently went to Galle during the lit fest. Attended the free event, Readings at Sunset. Or something. It was at a hotel a bit towards Unawatuna. We had the misfortune of attending last year too, when we cycled to galle. This year would be different, we hoped. Alas, it was not to be so as we were yet again assaulted with wave after wave of what we were assured was “Great literature” and authors who were supposedly “The greatest writers in the country”.

I’ve read a lot of Sri Lankan “writing” on these here inter-tubes. I don’t think most of you would fancy yourselves professional writers and erstwhile gay fashion statements, but honestly, you lot write content that is far superior to what I was assaulted by at Galle. You are the USS Kennedy to their Titanic. The Great Wall of China to their parapet wall behind my house. The Murali to their …me. I don’t know, I’m the worst bowler I know.

It felt like the written form of Mahagedara being read out. I was literally falling asleep listening to some lady yap on about some freaky love triangle like it was the third world war. It was full of people in the audience chattering about this great person and that other scandalous man. Rumours and gossip was thrown liberally around like pasta at a 4 year old’s birthday party. Except 4 year olds usually have more decorum.

So yes, the lit fest events weren’t that great to us. On the bright side, Himal being the bundle of fun he usually is, entertained us early on in the trip by managing to tumble down the side of the fort ramparts, all optimus-prime-dying like. It was the funniest thing I’d seen all year.

It’s taken me nearly half an hour to write that child of a post. I have many tales to tell but so little time/inclination to do so. I also hope that I’ll have the energy to do so next time I decide to post, seeing as how I have no nutritional plan for the coming month.

Wish me luck! And lunch.


On Blogging.

Blogging, to me, is getting attention. To others it is many things, like an outlet for writing, a place to vent or bait to lure little kids. I started a blog out of curiosity. It wasn’t much, I wouldn’t have read it. But then I got the hang of it and people started commenting and stuff. This was like giving a 12-year old a gun, then encouraging him to shoot the neighbor’s dog.

Bloggers are a varied bunch. There’s photobloggers, political bloggers, personal bloggers and even emo bloggers, whose space has been monopolized by The Abyss of St. Fallen. Every niche is filled. I’m not really sure which category I fit into but I am assured that’s a good thing. I have no idea why I’m gesticulating on these things.


That word makes it sound like I’m animatedly waving my hands at you while I’m berating you on the virtues of wet newspapers. Just saw that word in the paper today too, can’t remember where.

Yesterday I met up with a bunch of people I met through blogging and just hung out. Dinner and then a few games of NFS and Counter Strike. Papareboy, as usual, managed to make a tremendous fail of himself again. It’s weird, come to think of it. Blogging. I hang out with bloggers more than I do with my “real” friends.

Oh wait, I just remembered why I’m just typing all this.

I’m sitting around at MC waiting for some bloggers.




I can’t even remember Friday all that well. Mostly because I have to type this stupid post over again after losing the entirety of it to some weird crashing bug.

Friday, papareboy and I called each other at the same time for the same reason. To waste some time after work. It was freaky. Fallen was jealous it never happened to him so he kept making gay jokes at us. The jokes were gay, that is. We(Hisham, Whacko, Fallen and Papareboy) eventually ended up at the beach in Mt. Lavinia at around 11pm. After the mandatory dumping of fallen on the sand, head first, we settled down on a boat on the sand.

The evening would not have been complete without at least a slight involvement in Twitter, so whacko wanted to “see what was like”. So I showed him.

The fact that it was the beach, we all had working legs and whacko wanting to show off his Baywatch-esque slow-mo run on the beach all contributed to all of us ending up running up and down the beach trying to, or trying to avoid someone posting “@stfallen tastes good” from my account.

After a complex procedure during which we got ourselves covered in sand, we made our ways home. Point to note is, everywhere we went, whacko would recognize someone and go talk to them. At the beach, whacko and hisham started talking to two random beach boys. It took much coercing and offers of introductions to females to get them to leave.


Was spent in Hanwelle, getting my feet sucked clean by tiny fish at the base of a tiny waterfall thingy, sitting on old tree trunks over a pond, plucking rambutan and bathing from a… water hole. Was much fun. I might have twitpic’d some pictures of it.


Papareboy’s Life – Brought to you by Britannia

Went to watch Ice Age 3. At the entrance me and Fallen had our pictures taken with our “favourite Ice Age characters”. Strangely enough, our favs included four cups of Newdale yogurt. Pic will be posted shortly 😀

There were also some people handing out biscuits outside the theater. We all got a few to munch on while waiting for the movie to start. Hijinx, Sabby, Fallen and Sabby’s little bro were there. Papareboy later showed up with his hands holding a month’s supply of biscuits. “Lunch. What the hell man I was starving and the guard looked at me funny so I asdjlkgahregwagadswagwra….” he said when queried.

After the movie we went to Coffee Stop to watch fallen and papareboy playing with each other on a couch, after which we headed down to the food court. Here we were met by MoM and DeeCee, who was “in a rush”. Now, most people in a rush are, well, in a rush. They rush, do things quickly and drop stuff on the floor and things. Dee didn’t even acidentally bump into anyone on the way out. What a sucky rush. I think she was lying just so she could get away from fallen, who was hitting on hijinx like a bull in heat. Not that bulls in heat hit on hijinx, just that… you get the gist of it.

After DeeCee left, we dragged MoM along with us to Burgers King in Malay Street. But not before slamming fallen into the ground again. This time outside crescat on the driveway. Everyone should try throwing fallen. It’s practically therapeutic, and doesn’t take much effort.

At burgers king we got food and fallen was thwarted by Sabby’s bro. After much rejoicing we all went home through contorted bus routes.


Dinner and of Stalling In The Act Of Deciding Where To Go After-Syndrome

Went for this kottu party thing a friend told me about yesterday. Met a hellava lot of people, half of who I can’t really remember.

A bunch of old friends and some new people.

Findings :

  • Dinidu De Alwis is schizophrenic. Do not believe his blog. Hell, I never read past more than four lines on his posts, afraid of getting lost in all the government this-government that. It was like that last level in a game that you’re just not sure you can play yet. The dude is insane. In a fun, good way.
  • I can keep talking about nothing in particular for a long time. Without any external stimulants. Unless kottu counts.

The minute I show up I see papareboy and who appeared to be his brother. I am later told that this other person was Mr. Alwis. I prepare myself for a night of listening to a constant newsreel like commentary on who was screwing(figuratively) whom in power/government/religion.

Well it was different. Again. First DC and now this guy. Even pavithri wasn’t doling out hugs, contrary to her tweetings and much to everyone’s chagrin. She called me mean. As if I could ever be anything less than gentlemanly. The only minor offenses I committed were asking The Puppeteer whether she wasn’t supposed to be in a kitchen somewhere and splashing water on a certain curly haired, sexually confused journalist.

It was a fun night.

Now, about SITAODWTG syndrome. We experienced this firsthand yesterday. Actually, we created it firsthand. The first hand coming from one of us who finally got around to saying ‘This is getting boring now, let’s move on to somewhere else”. Then a slew of other hands came in and stirred it up, mixing and kneading the question of “Wher to go?” into “So yeah, I’m fine with anything. You tell us.”. And so everyone was fine with anyplace, except the place we were already in. That’s not to say anybody could’ve just suggested a location and everyone would have agreed. Not so simple. It has to be a place that’s interesting enough. We SAY we’re willing, but we just want someone to magically read our minds and gauge our mood for a suitable location.

We were undecided for a few hours.

EDIT : Retitled due to gehan thinking it was a meetup of everyone on, and not the actual… food. Yes, laugh at him, people.


Vacation Pics

I was looking through the pictures I’d taken and realized that there wasn’t much that wasn’t either a personal picture or wedding stuff. Nothing with too much tourist-ey appeal. So no pictures for you. Only the sweet treacle of my words will have to do. Yes I know, it’s hard, but the pain will fade soon. It’s okay. *pat *pat

Anyway, Sabby’s “bloggy”‘s been taken off. In between all the cries of protest and the thousands of bouquets being dropped at her doorstep, I’m sure she’ll eventually come to realize that she _should_ have dedicated a post to me back when she still had it. Oh and also that lots of people liked the blog. It’ll be weird not having you around to call me a kid and throw a wet blanket on everything I say. Hope you achieve what you want from it’s removal.

In ozzer news, I’ve stopped using the “——-” dividers so that _some people_ stay away from them because I use em. I mean, come on. It’s like a sandwitch half eaten by Obama. It’s a celebrity divider now. I will be posting it on eBay as soon as I figure out how.

Yet again I forgot to transfer that pic of me eating lays off my phone before coming to work. Oh well, content for the next post.

ALSO, should I add one of those chatbox thingys?

P.S. – Sabby, knew you wouldn’t mind so I took the liberty of putting your past posts up for sale. Took em off Reader 😀 Everyone, posts with >10 comments start at 10$ a pop, the others are 7$. Start the bidding in the comments 😛


Funny Man.

A sense of humor doesn’t work.

You’ve all heard it, people saying that their ideal partner is someone “funny”. If that were true, we should be a race of comedians by now. Instead, I find people who wouldn’t know a joke if it was slapped on their faces by Jet Lee. People aren’t looking for funny. They THINK they are. Yes, I think I’m funny. My ego cannot grow any larger. I admit it. Now that we have that out of the way, have you ever noticed how most people take in everything you say seriously? Even when it is so outrageous that anybody who believed it would not say it out loud, and instead wear a white hooded cape and gather with the rest of their group in the woods to talk about it. For example, I recently claimed that all feminists are bra burning armpit sniffers. I get a cold look and “Really? That’s what you think about the women’s lib movement?”. I give a nice, cheery “Yup, and the rest of ‘em are only fit to stay at home with the kids. Otherwise god would have given men mammaries! Har!”

To which I get the reply “Ooookaaaay…. I hope you don’t have any plans on getting married.”

Why is that the general comeback of nearly all females when someone says stuff like that? It assumes that our goal in life is to get hitched to some Nazi feminist. I’m eighteen for Chrissakes! I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow, let alone about marriage!

What is so hard to notice about sarcasm? Why do people keep thinking there are actually people who believe that stuff, and that they would pour it all out to them of all people? This applies to both genders.

Point is, people say they want humor. What they want is “Okay, so a priest and a gerbil walk into a bar…”

Pffft. Generalization is fun.


The Birds and Bees of Sri Lanka

Did YOUR parents talk to you about the birds and the bees?

How do people over here learn about procreation? 99% of the time, there is no ‘talk’ between parent and child. I for one just sort of picked up the gist of it from the many books lying around the house. Notably the ‘Reader’s Digest Home Medical Guide’. Actually, looking back now, I wonder why the thing had such vivid descriptions… :s Maybe even a few adults needed a reminder on exactly how it works. Or if my parents placed the book there in the first place, so I’d read it and not have to ask THEM!?

I’ll freak out about my parent’s intentions later…

Anyway, point is, most of us never really get any real info off our parents. So how Do we find out about this stuff? I did some (sketchy) research, and found that most just get the info from a friend, or a group of friends who piece together something from the scraps of information they’ve found out. Freaky, when you think of all the misleading things that could pop up from a bunch of 6th graders piecing together facts. At that stage they’re likely to believe it if told that babies are made by Microsoft, when we all know that they come from Mars.

But the fact is, all of them get it right some time or the other, without any help from teachers or parents. Sure, there are some leftover beliefs floating around such as doing certain things making you go blind which refuse to bug off, but these are just peripheral to the Main Idea. And it’s not just the functioning. We know about safety first. We know. But how? Why do we know this stuff? Students in the US are having sex-ed classes drilled into them from kindergarten, yet some of them are dumb as bricks when it comes to it. But yet here we are, a country in which the subject is shunned and kicked aside by a culture driven by prudish monks, where the closest education we get is “Life Education”, and we still know. Weird shit…